stupid girl

Before we went to Hawaii Trevor put a bunch of movies on my ipod. One of the movies he put on there, P.S. I love you-- I hadn’t seen yet. I started the movie on the flight over there (this was the end of June). I made it about 10 minutes into the movie. I tried it again on the next flight…another 5 minutes.

Over the course of the past 2 months I have tried watching this movie in airplanes, airports, bedrooms, coffee shops, parks and my living room. The longest I have gone is about 14 minutes. I’ve found I make the most progress if I watch it in a public place. Usually I can make it about 3-5 minutes and then I have to turn it off and blink rapidly while trying to think of something funny, (like Carly in a bikini…right mom?).

I still fully intend to finish this movie. In fact I’m actually enjoying it, in a twisted, masochistic sort of way.

So what is the problem?

Well, the problem is… I’m a stupid girl. A stupid, emotional, soft-hearted girl. That means I can’t watch more than about 14 minutes of this movie without crying. It is ridiculous. Rediculous.

I just left my lunch a ½ hour early because I was no longer able to hold it together while sitting in a coffee shop surrounded 3 guys. 3 guys! You’d think that would be enough to keep me from crying in public …but oh no, no not nearly enough motivation. Instead I laughed, trying to play it off as “I’m crying because it’s so funny” which was only 4% convincing so I gave up and left.

Of course, technically I don't think it counts as crying until the tears actually spill over and run down your face. I'm sticking with this definition which allows me to continue to try to reach my goal of making it through this whole *^$%$^*)# movie without "crying" (which i have been promised is impossible to do as a girl).

That is my goal and I'm sticking with it even though at this rate it will be Christmas before i finish. Just let me hold on to what little dignity i have left, ok?